He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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