Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
