im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
