Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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