We named our party play list daddy issues
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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