I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
