I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i think im in europe. pls send help
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize