So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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