the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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