After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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