you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
