btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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