yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
