i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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