call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I am naked and annoyed.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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