Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
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