Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
