honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
