girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
