I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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