careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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