I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
