Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
