just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
