she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Drunk is not a location!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
