My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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