I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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