My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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