I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize