I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
