We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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