I think im going to throw up on grandma
Operation Purity has been aborted
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize