i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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