You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
