Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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