I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
