Don't you send me to vm
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
