You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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