Swine flu. Run for my life!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
