Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
