Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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