I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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