but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
