i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
