So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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