dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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