Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Couch. On fire.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
