It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
