I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
