Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
