He is such a slut. More and more my type.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
