For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I want a musical about memes.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
