I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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