its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
