It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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