She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
