we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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