I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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