Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
