Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
