Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
