is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dicks are not precious.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
