Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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