You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
