absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
